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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29029395">We Don't Take Kindly To Fake Gods</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/'>Anonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Unconnected God Aus [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Gods &amp; Goddesses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:00:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,867</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29029395</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Unconnected God Aus [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2132757</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>437</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Anonymous</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chaos, Fire, Loyalty, The Future</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“We don’t take kindly to </span>
  <em>
    <span>fake</span>
  </em>
  <span> Gods.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Tommy what?” Tubbo asked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So Dream, do you wish to continue?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m a God, not only that I’m the most </span>
  <em>
    <span>powerful</span>
  </em>
  <span> God,” Dream insisted.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy laughed, “No, you’re not, you’re just a lonely homeless green bitch who manipulates teenagers for </span>
  <em>
    <span>fun</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I’m not sixteen, granted but you were under the pretense that I was, and Tubbo and Ranboo </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> minors, </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> teenagers.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ghostbur landed behind him, tilting his head to the side, looking innocent though his eyes were knowing and angry.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You have nothing, no one, you are so obsessed with control and power you’ve pushed anyone away.” Tommy grinned. “It’s kinds pathetic.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Wilbur laughed, “You want to know what’s really pathetic?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy hummed, eyes flicking to the transparent man.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How much he fell for my ‘insanity’”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And your memory ‘issues’” Fundy spoke up from nearby everyone else.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re a good actor, Wil. It’s part of your literal existence,” Tommy pointed out.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, but he’s literally watched me go from normal Wilbur to ‘insane’ Wilbur, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>still</span>
  </em>
  <span> didn’t pick up on it.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Tommy snorted.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I am a </span>
  <em>
    <span>God!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Dream shouted.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You are a </span>
  <em>
    <span>nobody!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Tommy shouted back, letting his power seep into the last word and the air around him. “You are no god, if you were you would’ve seen through both of us, both me and Wilbur. If you were a God you know know that we </span>
  <em>
    <span>faked</span>
  </em>
  <span> losing lives, that we flashed away faking respawn, that we </span>
  <em>
    <span>faked</span>
  </em>
  <span> the death messages.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And most of all,” Wilbur cut in, “If you were a God you would have known we were Gods, very powerful Gods at that.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Techno is literally Power.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And Phil is Life </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> Death.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wil’s Insanity,” Then almost as an after thought, “And Creativity.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, did the first statement not go well?” Wilbur asked, cheekily.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, shut up,” Tommy snapped.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How would you know Tommy?” Dream asked, accusingly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I am Chaos, I am Fire, I am Loyalty, I am The Future,” Tommy said, his blue eyes glowing.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Wilbur laughed, “He is, he can see the future.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“The most </span>
  <em>
    <span>probable</span>
  </em>
  <span> future,” He corrected.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What?!” Tubbo yelled.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He moved to the side a moment before an arrow went through where he was, raising an eyebrow at Dream.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Creativity, Leadership, Water Animals, Insanity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Wilbur snorted, “Why do you test everything we say?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He could feel Dream’s glare.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why are people scared of him, again?” Wilbur asked, turning to Tommy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They haven’t been exposed to Techno,” Tommy said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wilbur laughed, “True, True.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dream’s glare hardened even more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wilbur straightened up, “Oh!” His barely saturated brown eyes went wide, “We should tell Phil and Techno they’ll love to be involved.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy grinned and nodded, “They would.” Tommy closed his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is Tommy doing?” Tubbo asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Calling Technoblade and Philza,” Wilbur answered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? Why?” Quackity asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because they’ll find this hilarious.” Wilbur grinned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> know any of this, Wilbur?” Dream asked, almost spitting out his name.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am Creativity, I am Leadership, I am Water Animals, I am Insanity. I play parts, I create, I turn you insane,” Wilbur’s brown eyes glowed as power poured out of his words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He can show you things you can’t even imagine,” Tommy spoke up, eyes open again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are they-?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, they’re coming.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good, good.” Wilbur nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re a </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ghost</span>
  </em>
  <span> what can you do to me?” Dream asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wilbur grinned, the grin was similar to the grins of his time in Pogtopia. His power seeped into the air, his brown eyes glowed and he became solid, no longer transparent. His skin went back to his old skin tone, his pants became pure black, his converse appeared and became maroon, his yellow sweater became saturated, and his hair returned to brown under his maroon beanie. “Am I?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dream, and almost everyone else, took a step back, Fundy on the other hand ran forwards to hug him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi Fundy,” Wilbur whispered into his son’s hair and he hugged him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You knew?!” Quackity asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wilbur could feel the questioning look Tommy sent Quackity.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fundy pulled away and sent Quackity a blank look, “My Dad is literally the God of Creativity, Leadership, Water Animals, and Insanity, of course I knew.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He also grew up with Phil, Techno, and I going in and out of the house so…” Tommy added on, shrugging.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wilbur nodded, agreeing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I heard someone was claiming to be a God,” Techno’s monotone voice said from behind the specters.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Technoblade, The Blade, Tech, Techno, Big T, The Biggest T, how are you?” Tommy immediately greeted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hullo Tommy, I’m fine, what made you snap?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dream called himself a God and specifically the most powerful God.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Techno made a face.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed!</p><p>Comments and Kudos are appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Power, Protection, War, Harvest</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Yeah, that’s my reaction too,” Wilbur said.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure Tommy has told you that we don’t take kindly to <em> false </em> Gods, <em> fake </em> Gods,” Techno said, a dark look on his face as he walked through the crowd.</p><p> </p><p>“I have,” Tommy confirmed.</p><p> </p><p>“He did,” Funny said at the same time.</p><p> </p><p>Tommy and Fundy exchanged looks and sniffled laughter.</p><p> </p><p>Techno walked up to his brothers and nephew, “Phil’s on his way.”</p><p> </p><p>They nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“Haven’t they betrayed you Technoblade, you still owe me a favor.” Dream reminded.</p><p> </p><p>“Betrayal’s mean nothing between Gods, we understand each other more than humans ever could,” Techno said.</p><p> </p><p>“No matter what at the end of the day, it will always be the four of us and a graveyard,” Tommy continued on.</p><p> </p><p>“Gods know we side with the humans we make friends with over them, because the human won’t be around forever,” Wilbur finished, pulling Fundy into a side hug with a sad look in his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“So you’re <em> Power </em>, what are you really?”</p><p> </p><p>“I am Power, I am Protection, I am War,  I am Harvest. I owe nothing, I don’t do favors for humans,” Techno growled.</p><p> </p><p>“One of these things is not like the others~” Wilbur sung under his breath.</p><p> </p><p>Techno’s piglin ears caught the song and he glared at Wilbur, red eyes glowing.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, scary eyes,” Tommy whispered.</p><p> </p><p>Fundy nodded.</p><p> </p><p>Techno’s glare transferred to Tommy, who beamed at him.</p><p> </p><p>Wilbur rolled his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Techno turned back to Dream.</p><p> </p><p>Dream looked at Techno, “You can’t possibly believe them?”</p><p> </p><p>“He’s not confident,” Wilbur muttered.</p><p> </p><p>“Can’t believe them about what?”</p><p> </p><p>“Faking losing lives, faking death messages.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll notify Phil,” Wilbur said.</p><p> </p><p>Tommy and Techno nodded.</p><p> </p><p>Techno put both his hands out, bringing his three hearts, three lives, up. He looked up at Dream and then he paused, “Wil?”</p><p> </p><p>“He just sighed.”</p><p> </p><p>Tommy and Fundy snickered.</p><p> </p><p>Techno closed one of his hands the first heart shattered.</p><p> </p><p>‘Technoblade was slain by TommyInnit’</p><p> </p><p>“What the Fuck?” Quackity yelled.</p><p> </p><p>“How!?” Hbomb said.</p><p> </p><p>Techno smirked, “I have to believe it as I can do it to.”</p><p> </p><p>“What?! WHAT?! How?”</p><p> </p><p>“We’re Gods.” Tommy shrugged.</p><p> </p><p>“Why are you making them repeat this over and over again?” Phil asked.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I have another God Au, y'all want it?</p><p> </p><p>Hope you enjoyed! Thank you for reading!</p><p>Kudos and Comments appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Life, Death, Kindness, Family</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Dream doesn't know when to stop, apparently. Lmao, idiotic homeless green blob.</p><p> </p><p>Also call backs?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Philza,” Dream said, through gritted teeth.</p><p> </p><p>A forced smile went onto Phil’s face, “Dream.”</p><p> </p><p>“Dad!” Tommy called.</p><p> </p><p>Phil’s face softened and his head turned to look at Tommy, “Hi Tommy, you okay, what happened?” Phil asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Dream claimed to be the ‘most powerful’ God,” Tommy explained.</p><p> </p><p>“Ah,” Phil nodded, understanding.</p><p> </p><p>“So the great Life and Death.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, I am Life, I am Death, I am Kindness, I am Family and you will regret hurting mine.”</p><p> </p><p>Tommy grinned, “Dream, Dream, Dream, Listen and I mean this in the nicest way possible, You fucked up.”</p><p> </p><p>Wilbur and Fundy grinned.</p><p> </p><p>Tubbo nervously smiled at the call back.</p><p> </p><p>Eret looked down, guilty.</p><p> </p><p>Phil made his way over to his family, “You have nothing, Dream, you’ve lost.”</p><p> </p><p>“I still have Tommy’s discs!” Dream stated confidently.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you?” Tommy asked, holding up Cat and Mellohi in his hands.</p><p> </p><p>“What!?” Dream yelled shocked, “How?”</p><p> </p><p>Wilbur and Techno grinned from either side of Tommy.</p><p> </p><p>“You’ve underestimated us,” Wilbur said.</p><p> </p><p>Fundy laughed.</p><p> </p><p>Techno considered Dream for a second, “You had promise, promise to change the world for the better, but you threw it away for control and <em> power </em> you will never have to keep. You could have been amazing, you could have gone down it history, you could have been great.”</p><p> </p><p>“Power isn’t worth anything if you’re alone,” Fundy said.</p><p> </p><p>“Homeless green man,” Wilbur whispered into Tommy’s ear.</p><p> </p><p>Tommy sniffled a laugh.</p><p> </p><p>“You’ve tried to hurt my family, I don’t take kindly to that.”</p><p> </p><p>Wilbur smirked, “Hey Dream!”</p><p> </p><p>Dream looked at him.</p><p> </p><p>“YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, SUCK IT GREEN BOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!”</p><p> </p><p>Tommy, Fundy, and Tubbo burst out into laughter.</p><p> </p><p>Dream growled at him, glaring.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t scare me Dream, I’ve been around Techno basically since we came into being.”</p><p> </p><p>Techno nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing you do can scare me, I’ve seen things you couldn’t imagine, wouldn’t believe,” Tommy said, eyes glowing again.</p><p> </p><p>Wilbur put an arm around Fundy’s shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>“You’ve lost Dream, we won’t be playing your games anymore,” Phil said, voice cold and confident.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll be back and I will win!”</p><p> </p><p>“We’ll be waiting,” Techno called after the speed runner as he ran away.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you enjoyed, thanks for reading!</p><p>Comments and Kudos are appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Born by Creativity, raised by Chaos, Power, and Life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Fuck him!” Tommy cheered.</p><p> </p><p>Fundy offered him a high five which he takes.</p><p> </p><p>Tubbo runs up to them, “Tommy explain, what the hell?”</p><p> </p><p>“We’re Gods, well Fundy’s half, but that’s it, there’s nothing else to explain.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why did you hide it, why didn’t you tell me?”</p><p> </p><p>“I just wanted to be human, I wanted to live a ‘normal’ life for once. You let me do that, you let me feel normal. I didn’t want to ruin it.” Tommy looked away.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re alive?” Niki asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Yep!” Wilbur said, “And I’m not dumb, I know your plan.”</p><p> </p><p>Niki winced.</p><p> </p><p>“I wouldn’t have let that ruin it!”</p><p> </p><p>Tommy didn’t look him in the eyes, “In the most probable future it always did.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>“So what powers do you have Fundy? Being the son of a God and all?” Quackity asked.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m good at creating things and I’m good at acting, but I can be mildly unstable at times,” Fundy answered.</p><p> </p><p>“Burning down the flag for example,” Wilbur offered up.</p><p> </p><p>“So you’ve just been under our noises the whole time?” Punz asked.</p><p> </p><p>“We did the best we could, but there we’re defiantly points where we slipped up,” Wilbur said.</p><p> </p><p>“You mean every time I set something on fire?” Tommy asked, sounding bitter.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you okay Tommy?” Tubbo asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, Wil just had to talk me down from setting my house on fire earlier.”</p><p> </p><p>Wilbur rolled his eyes.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>When Dream returned, everyone was ready, he was beaten and put into the prison he’d commissioned Sam to build.</p><p> </p><p>“So why don’t you like fake Gods?” Tubbo asked as three of the L’manburg founders sat on a hill overlooking a good portion of the SMP.</p><p> </p><p>“Fake Gods make real Gods look bad,” Tommy said, “Fakes use the title of God to have full control over the people around them.”</p><p> </p><p>“They use the title to excuse themselves from the terrible things they do,” Fundy said.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, it ruins the rest of your names.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, it destroys it.”</p><p> </p><p>“You three coming?” Wilbur called.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, we’re coming!” Tommy called back.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s go,” Fundy said.</p><p> </p><p>The three of them got up from where they were sitting.</p><p> </p><p>“Race you there,” Tommy took off.</p><p> </p><p>Tubbo and Fundy chased after him.</p><p> </p><p>They left Dream in Prison, they don’t take kindly to fake Gods, after all.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I have another God au, that should be coming out soon, lol, I have a lot of different ones, it's kinda funny.</p><p> </p><p>Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed!</p><p>Kudos and Comments appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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